I wish I knew then that nursing was an option for me early on. It took some twists and turns for me to find it. Nursing was not on my radar at all. I think I would have been in the profession a lot sooner. Of course, I needed the resources and such because I did have a scholarship, which really helped.

At the same time, I know now you have to embrace the plot twists since those other experiences mold you to prepare you for where you are. The point remains that I never saw nursing as an option for my younger self. My dad was an accountant; that is what I was going to do. Nursing just fell into my lap as an option, but I wish I knew more about how rewarding the profession is so I could have explored it sooner.

Funnily enough, it was quite circumstantial. I took a year off after my high school diploma because I wanted to live on my own, earn a living, and then pursue accounting. I was living in a metropolitan area and I knew that I wanted to be one of those executives who packed their heels in their briefcases, wore sneakers to work, and got on the Metro. I thought that was cool and that was going to be me.

Then, I had a roommate who wanted me to drive her to fill out an application at a local nursing home not far from where we lived. When we got there, I walked in with her and they gave each of us an application. I was like, “OK, I will fill it out.” They hired us both on the spot. I did not have any experience as a nursing assistant, but the pay sounded right. I was going to do it for a little bit and then leave because I was working in retail.

While I was working there, and still at the point of figuring out when I was going to get back to accounting, an older gentleman who had been a nursing assistant for years came into the lounge and shared that the county in Virginia where I lived was offering scholarships. After I did not say anything, he stopped and said, “Katie, I am talking to you.” I was one of the younger people there.

His name was Calvin, and I will never forget him. In front of everyone, he pushed me to go to the college information session and find out about the program, “or else.” Talk about public embarrassment. I was a little mad but amused at the same time.

I went to the community college information session just to appease Calvin and get him off my back. I got there, and I felt energized seeing all the young people. “Oh my gosh, I need to be a part of this world,” I thought. I loved the energy from those people with books who wanted to learn. There were occupational therapy, radiology, and nursing information lines. I went into the occupational therapy line, but that line was not moving at all.

I looked at the clock, and it was getting closer to 2:30 pm, and I had a 30-minute commute to work. I thought, “I cannot leave here without any paperwork,” so I jumped in the shortest line. It was the line for nursing, and viola! I studied to become an RN.

I had a very persistent program manager who stayed on me. She said, “Look, you have no reason not to go. We will pay for everything, including your parking. We will pay for your books, everything. So, what is your excuse?” Then I was like, “Calvin put this in my head. Now if I don’t do this, I am going to look like loser.” So I did it.

And then I saw an opportunity to do a day in the OR. The moment I stepped in there, I knew it was home for me. I loved it. I pursued it relentlessly until I got here. My proudest moment was when I finished my doctorate; I was elated.

The hardest thing was learning about all those sutures—names, numbers, size, and locations. That was the most intimidating. God help me if they asked for a suture that was not on that little carousel and I had to go in that suture room. I broke into sweat every time.

I did not know silks were light blue versus nylons that were green. I would go in there, and it was a very intimidating environment because there was no such thing as residencies or internships for the OR at that time. It was really baptism by fire.

I started my career in the OR in a public hospital in Washington DC that was limited on funds, which is now closed. There was scarcity all around. You worked through scarcity. Once you were off orientation, it was survival of the fittest.

One thing they did to save costs was to create suture kits or sharps kits. They did not put scissors and all the sharp types of instruments in regular instrument trays. They actually had them in separate boxes. There were only so many to go around. They only had enough for the number of OR rooms that we had. Maybe they had one extra. If there were six rooms, there were seven kits so we had to wash and flush suture kits between cases.

I think there is a myth around what we mean when we say that all OR people are tough. Everyone talks about resilience when it comes to the OR, but I am not a big fan of that word. I even remember trying to make the case about nurses, that OR nurses being on call all night and having to stay the next day to work a full shift, was insanity. You still see it today in some cases, folks who have worked all night taking on more hours the next day. Anyone coming from a compassionate, caring perspective knows it is not safe for that nurse to work a full shift the following day.

What you always hear is OR nurses are tough, they can handle it. The implication is that you do not need to make accommodations for these “resilient” nurses, and often times that means upper management gets away with not adding needed resources for the well-being of these nurses because this is what they signed up for. I try to speak to the human frailty and risk of nurses falling asleep and almost getting into accidents driving home. As leaders, we must share heavy-hitting stories to have other leaders understand that these situations are untenable and unsustainable.

This is an accepted, normalized cultural norm for OR nurses and personnel—that sleep is a luxury. That is something that has to stop because it is not right at all for nurses to have to work 16-hour, 20-hour days. We wonder why we continue to lose a lot of folks to the ambulatory care setting or other healthcare facilities, and it is because they offer better work-life balance.

When you are a strong clinician, you may hear, “Hey, how about considering a leadership position?” And, I was continuing my education. I started my associates degree program and decided to keep going without any plans on what I was going to do with my degree. I knew that I wanted to keep pursuing my studies and then figure out what I was going to do next. While I was working as a staff nurse in the OR, the director called me into her office.

I provided a reactionary response. I said, “I want to be where you are.” I did not really mean it that way. I thought that I had offended her. She was really impressed by me for saying that. Within a few weeks, she came to me and said, “I want you to consider being a clinical coordinator for evenings.”

That is how I got into leadership. Initially, I said, “I do not see myself as leadership material. I’m so imperfect and fallible, but this is one of the lower-level roles, so I will try it.” I will say, in my first stints in leadership, I did everything wrong. I was very task-oriented. I did not have any support or training. It was simply, “You are in charge now.”

Being very task-oriented did not work at all, and of course, transitioning from a peer to a leader in the same department is one of the hardest transitions you can make. I often heard my co-worker friends say, “You crossed over,” which I did not like hearing at all.

I had to learn about building and maintaining relationships as a leader. I truly learned the hard way. I invested in learning about people. I took the time to remember the names of their families, pets, husbands, kids, everyone. I always remembered birthdays. On occasion, I did something special for birthdays out of my own pocket. It took me a couple of years to figure that out.

 Especially where I am now, my leadership style is adaptable, situation-based, and people-based—but there are several different leadership styles that speak to me like servant leadership, authentic leadership, laissezfaire, to name a few. After a while, you realize that you are a combination of all of those, depending on the situation that you are in.

I thought that I had a concrete leadership style a few years ago. Now that I am in a totally different environment—moving from working in a nonprofit organization, to managing and owning the whole thing, to having a small piece—I have adjusted. I think I am a combination of styles. My style is people-based and situation-based, always, and I value being adaptable and agile.

A lot of exposure and time. Experience is the best teacher. Blessedly, I have been surrounded by amazing people from whom I have been able to learn. Going back to the last question, I saw a number of different leadership styles that worked for different people, and I realized along the way the parts I wanted to take and the ones I did not.

Even though at the time it was not a good thing, I have also been managed and led by not-so-good leaders. But there is still value in those experiences, because those times were when I learned how not to treat people. It is so clear at times, when you are under the thumb of leaders who are not very savvy or strong. From those experiences because you must take away what you will not do to others when it is your time.

One of the most important lessons is learning from bad experiences so you never make anyone else feel the way you felt. That sticks with you. Because of how it made me feel, I can give you a lot more detail about my bad experiences than I can tell you about the good ones. Because that is what we remember. Even when I go down that dark path of almost mimicking some of those bad behaviors, something intrinsically stops me because my body and my heart remember experiencing them. It is the bad as much as the good that forms you into who you are.

I am better at this now, but at the time, the toughest part was making very public mistakes because there is that sense that you are not allowed to make mistakes for other people to see. Even the smallest mistakes are amplified and it goes viral. Mistakes to the smallest degree could derail trust or impact relationships. That was the biggest thing for me.

Did I make mistakes? Yeah, absolutely.

You have to think about how you show up after that, and whose trust you have lost, and how you are going to rebuild it. I think we are a bit better now about allowing young leaders space to make mistakes and learn from them, but some people can still be unforgiving when you are in a leadership role and you make a mistake. That is where you try to leverage humor.

People want to see you squirm. That was one of the hardest things for me. Then the fear sets in; “I cannot make a mistake,” it almost becomes a mantra, especially when you are running the operations.

I do think motivation comes with giving people autonomy at the end of the day, in any role. I recently listened to a podcast about the current work environment and some of the tensions that exist between employers and employees. It is really a battle of freedoms and power; a battle to have the freedom to make decisions, to be able to take breaks and step away when needed.

I think when you give people some freedom to be creative, to make decisions, or to lead initiatives—which is what we need to do as leaders for our teams—that is motivating.

It is also recognizing the need for those freedoms. That comes in a number of different ways. We need to honor them as well when they make use of those freedoms to come up with great ideas. That opens up the door for people to feel motivated. As a leader, I say, “Even though it may not work in my head, let’s try it out.” I remain open and willing, as long as it is not harmful to anyone. Leaders have power—distribute it and lead from the back at times. We must have the self-discipline to sit on our hands if possible and let others learn to lead and develop that muscle.

We should all strive to get to a point of script-free behavior and script-free leading. Always be open to leading, learning, and loving. Adjust accordingly to what is in front of you, to who is in front of you, and to what the risks are. Do not be locked into leading a certain way; we become better people at work and at home when we learn from one another.

Leadership is all about creating your own brand of how you should lead and how you want to be remembered. And having a great life does not have to be placed on hold or interrupted because you are leading people, systems, organizations, or networks. Living well makes you a better leader.